Eight More Days of HUH?

Hearing aid technology has come a very long way. The modern hearing aid is super sophisticated and sleek, and more and more Baby Boomers are wearing them. Those two facts, their transformation into a digitally advanced instrument and their increased need by a generation that has some spending power, has made it a common occurrence to see hearing aids either in or on people's ears.

But there are many more aging ears out there, and younger ears that have been blown out by music (can we call them ear bads, not ear buds?). If everyone who could benefit from a hearing aid got one, they might become the new tattoo. I can see it now - bejeweled, Steam Punk, neon, Goth, camouflage, clear, shabby chic, blinking, glow-in-the-dark - hearing aids as the latest way to express our individuality. 

Years ago I was told I wouldn't benefit from a hearing aid to deal with my (at the time) moderate hearing loss from Menieire's Disease.  It was only in 2015 when my Mom offered to purchase one for my (at the time) severe hearing loss that I got one and leapt for joy at the wonderment of it. Now at this time, with profound hearing loss in my left year, that amazing little device is not helping one bit, it's just annoying me. I wish I had got one years ago, I wish all the What's That? Huh? Could You Repeat That? and Excuse Me?s could have been helped, but for whatever reason I was told otherwise. I should have got a second opinion. Oh well.

If you're on the fence about getting one, if your spouse/kids/friends/coworkers/pet are getting frustrated with your hearing loss, my advice is to at least get your hearing assessed. You can't fail a hearing assessment, it's not a test to pass or fail. It's just to see what situation your hearing's in. There is no harm in that, knowledge is power, right? If money is the issue you may be helped by some of the cheaper options becoming available. If you're a razzle dazzle kind of person, there are some razzle dazzle options available too. From barebones to top-of-the-line, it's worth it. It is so fabulous to spend time with people not straining to hear what they're saying, but rather to spend the time listening to them. Once you can hear, you can listen. 

My hope is to get back to where I was two and a half years ago when I got my first hearing aid. This week I'll meet with a surgeon to talk about a Cochlear Baha 5 Attract. That's my dream situation at this point. But trying to find a good little chunk of time to recover from even that minor procedure is looking dicey in the next couple of months. In the meantime, I need to hear...

...so at my appointment in eight long days from now, my audiologist will take the Widex Dream 440 (which I now wear on my left ear) and turn it into a sound receiver I'll wear on my right ear. (This is one of the benefits of purchasing a razzle dazzle model. When I was in Connecticut getting my Widex, I was telling Frank the hearing aid guy that I would get the cheaper model. My sister and Mom yelled out from the waiting room "Order her the best one!" and that's what they did. Now I'm glad of it, because it can now serve me in this new function.) I'll buy a new transmitter to wear on my left to send the sounds to the right. Single Sided Deafness no more, now Single Sided Hearing. A glass half full vs. half empty sort of situation. I'll take it. 

I'm going to get real technical here.
See the thing that looks like a snail?
Thats the part of my ear that's all messed up.
In reality it's the size of a pea. Amazing. 

The one on the left will be on my right.
The one on the right will be on my left.
It looks HUGE!!
I may need a bigger left ear. 

To Borg or Not to Borg...

...the Phonak Cros vs the Baha 5 Attract



When did I know it was time to do something drastic about the hearing loss on my left side?

• When the very first thing I thought of when I got invited to proctor in Chicago again wasn't the flight or the hotel or the good food or the time with friends or even all the walking and hard work involved. The very first thing I thought of was the dread of wearing the walkie-talkie headset to communicate with the other staff. The idea of trying to wear that thing slightly perched over my right ear while still allowing sound in because my left ear is so useless almost made me cry.
• Coming home from a morning spent with my Moldovan friends, and realizing not only did I not understand much said in the car, but even the conversation with the only English speaker in the group was so exhausting, such a strain on my brain, that I was glad to say goodbye to them. This formerly gregarious people-lover pulled into the garage, turned off the car and bawled my eyes out. I cried for my lost hearing, my currently shelved extroverted personality and all the wasted energy I spend straining to hear, pretending to hear, and mis-hearing.
• The fact that now to me the perfect day is spent at home with the dog, with my pretty-much-useless hearing aid put away. The hearing aid was a miracle for me for two years, I loved it. But now with my hearing on the left so deteriorated, the hearing aid basically just keeps me from getting hit by a bus and would alert me to a jet engine a few feet from my face. (I'm exaggerating. It helps, but only turned up to a volume that produces feedback.) I also have very small and oval shaped ear canals which makes wearing it almost painful. Why put something painful in my ear to hardly get any benefit when I can just choose to stay home with a dog that doesn't talk?
• When binge watching cochlear implant activation videos on YouTube is viewed as an evening well spent. 

I'm not a candidate for a cochlear implant, but I did find out I'm a candidate for something very intriguing. On my last visit with my lovely audiologist, she sweetly informed me that my suspicions were correct, I had indeed lost more hearing on my left side due to Menieire's Disease. She recommended I go back to Kaiser Head and Neck Surgery for a consult. I almost didn't go, what would they say, "Yes, you are really deaf in your left ear. Let's go with two devices, one for transmitting sound from the left and feeding it into the right. Two hearing aids, just what your tiny little oval shaped ear canals were dreaming of!"

The ENT doctor did mention that setup, referred to as a CROS system. But he also recommended I get tested to see if I would be a candidate for a BAHA device, or a Bone Anchored Hearing Aid. He explained that hearing can be transmitted through the bones of the skull to the good ear. I pictured this.

"Can you tell which is my good side?"

Of course I immediately got out to the car and Googled Baha hearing device and freaked out a bit. The original Baha devices, still the ones that work the best, involve a titanium screw in the skull and this snap-on device protruding out from the skin. 

"Yes, I have a screw in my head.
No, I am not going to listen to your Frankenstein joke."

After digesting that idea and reading about some of the skin issues involved in caring for the post, or rather "the abutment" as it is so affectionately called, I saw there is an alternative. Instead of the Baha Connect with the Frankenscrew, there is another option called the Baha Attract, which uses a magnet. I was immediately attracted to the Attract.

Actual size may be smaller or larger, depending on your screen size.
The magnet is about the size of a quarter. 

I made the appointment with the Kaiser audiologist, and my hopes were high to see if I could even use the Baha. The audiologist fitted a very tight, very uncomfortable headband around my head, with the Baha processor pressed tightly (I cannot stress enough how tight it was) to the left side of my head. She turned it on. She sounded like a robot. My hair sounded like giant ropes scraping my head. She adjusted it. Less robot, more person. A few more adjustments. I could hear her. She sounded almost normal. She put me in the testing room to have me listen to 25 simple sentences that were going to become progressively softer and softer.

The man has a yellow car

The girl is walking with a puppy.

The blue lamp is broken.

Simple stuff, so simple that at any moment I expected to hear:

See Dick! See Jane! See Dick and Jane run with Spot.

I tried not to laugh, it all seemed so funny. Maybe the super tight headband was cutting off air to my brain. 

Yet the puzzling thing was this - "Why is the audiologist testing the hearing on my right? She has my last hearing test, she knows my right hearing is super good. When will she get to the left side?"

Then the test was over. "She isn't going to test my left side? Wait, that WAS the left side? I heard all those sentences from the LEFT?" Suddenly all those simple sentences that almost had me giggling with embarrassment were on the level with War and Peace. They were the most profound phrases ever, because they were coming from the left and I "heard" them with my right ear! Through my skull. It was completely wild. We went for a walk down to the lobby. Even though I was wearing a headband that made me look like Janis Joplin meets Iron Man, I didn't care. I could hear my footsteps and the return air unit and people talking on my left and the rain outside. I wanted to walk out with the headband of torture and never take it off.

Next we tried another processor, this one connected to an equally painful headset. The left dug into my head, the right dug into my temple, but I could hear. We did another test in the little room. I got 22 out of 25 sentences correct. We went for a walk down the hallway again. More lovely ambient noises that you don't appreciate until you lose the ability to hear them. And of course, the constant "Am I talking really loud?" question that needs to be asked every other sentence. 

Since the audiologist had about 20 more minutes left in our 90 minute appointment, she wanted me to also try on the CROS system. I went into the appointment totally against the idea of wearing two devices, one in each ear. But, it was pretty amazing to understand everything from the left with absolutely no distortion. If I choose this system, on the left I would have a microphone in a hearing aid-like device, the right "hearing aid" would simply transmit the sound, no amplification. It would still allow sounds to come in on the right.

So now the choice. Get surgery to have a titanium anchor installed into my skull with a magnet that holds a processor onto my scalp, but that doesn't go inside my ears, or wear two devices in my ears? Oh, major consideration, the surgery with the Baha 5 Attract system is covered by insurance, the Cros system is not. One decision wouldn't rule out the other down the line. MRIs are an issue with the Baha magnet, but we also need to look into the danger of transmitting sound across my brain via the Cros. What's worse, zapping my brain daily or not being able to get my brain zapped with an MRI?

The only thing I know for sure is that I'm not going with Option 3, which is to do nothing and live like this. I can't take the emotional drain anymore, I want my personality back. Lots of research ahead of us, a consult with a surgeon and a consult with my regular audiologist. I'll keep you in the loop and shout out whatever I decide to do. If you have any input or personal experience regarding these technologies, please email me in the link to the right. Thanks for listening. 

This is me at the next big proctoring event, I hope.
"You can talk to me on any side!"

Team Left is down, got to get it back in the game.

Hearing aid humor from Pinterest. 

Maybe if I wear this around, the Baha Attract will seem tiny in comparison?

Getting in the party zone



Before we moved into our house, we spent many hours here at parties our friends threw, They were and still are great at hosting a party with tons of people while still managing to make you feel special. Hadassah would sit and talk to me as if it were just the two of us. In fact, if her girls came up and started interfering too much in our conversation, she would say "OK, either sit down with us or go play, I'm talking to Jessica." Cool as a cucumber, a true party person.

I'm still trying to catch the cucumber vibe. When we plan a party and I find myself the day before cleaning the mirrors in a room no party attender will go in, I remember that I haven't given much thought about food. Or ice. Or what people are going to drink. But wow do those mirrors shine!

We had a going away party last Sunday for some friends. And for once I think I got my priorities straight. I didn't clean one mirror, except of course the bathroom mirror, and the glass sliding door, and possibly some picture frames and I had to clean the microwave door. But other than that, glass surfaces were out of my mind and I only concentrated on the number of glasses and cups we would need.

After many parties at the house, I'm finally learning how this house flows with lots of people in it. Most everyone ends up in the kitchen, so I decided to create three food zones there - Pizza, Coffee & Tea, and Booze. These were Moldovan guests, so we got to put out our homemade alcohol concoctions with no fear of turned up noses. The Pizza Zone was a great idea, the boxes just got stacked up on the area around the stove and didn't take up precious buffet table space. For sure going to do that again.

There's another area of the yard that many of our guests congregate in, and I don't know why. Every big party we have there's a crowd in our garbage can area. I usually look over in horror to see people gathered around our garbage cans, sometimes using the Recycle bin as an ad hoc standing bar of sorts. This time I was ready. I made a line of chairs on the patio blocking off that area, only to see halfway into the evening that once again, there was a crowd over there. Some guys brought their barbeque and that's where they decided to set it up, right by the trash. Oh well, I'm not going to fight the lure of the garbage cans, it is strong.

It was iffy but the weather held. We had a fire inside and a bonfire outside, and for once I was relaxed enough to just let things flow. There was enough food without it being too much, the perfect amount of pizza and the children brought me flowers to add to the daffodils I picked from the yard. If I stick to the zones for the next few parties, I may just be relaxed enough to sit down and talk to our guests. Either that or go clean some mirrors.



The Utensil Zone.
We ran out of forks.
Let them eat from the Cake Zone with spoons!

The Alcohol Zone.
Helps hide the dirty mirrors.

Party goals - no more Styrofoam cups.

The Patio Zone that leads to the Garbage Zone.
Maybe next time some police tape?

Young Tony brought me these, it's a Moldovan party tradition.
Sigh.

Little Adela brought me the roses.
Heart touched.

The Morning After Chair Zone.

The Basketball Zone.

No, the hats were not because of the Alcohol Zone.
It's just become a thing at the end of our parties for the last
guests to take a silly hat photo.
Until next time...