To Borg or Not to Borg...

...the Phonak Cros vs the Baha 5 Attract



When did I know it was time to do something drastic about the hearing loss on my left side?

• When the very first thing I thought of when I got invited to proctor in Chicago again wasn't the flight or the hotel or the good food or the time with friends or even all the walking and hard work involved. The very first thing I thought of was the dread of wearing the walkie-talkie headset to communicate with the other staff. The idea of trying to wear that thing slightly perched over my right ear while still allowing sound in because my left ear is so useless almost made me cry.
• Coming home from a morning spent with my Moldovan friends, and realizing not only did I not understand much said in the car, but even the conversation with the only English speaker in the group was so exhausting, such a strain on my brain, that I was glad to say goodbye to them. This formerly gregarious people-lover pulled into the garage, turned off the car and bawled my eyes out. I cried for my lost hearing, my currently shelved extroverted personality and all the wasted energy I spend straining to hear, pretending to hear, and mis-hearing.
• The fact that now to me the perfect day is spent at home with the dog, with my pretty-much-useless hearing aid put away. The hearing aid was a miracle for me for two years, I loved it. But now with my hearing on the left so deteriorated, the hearing aid basically just keeps me from getting hit by a bus and would alert me to a jet engine a few feet from my face. (I'm exaggerating. It helps, but only turned up to a volume that produces feedback.) I also have very small and oval shaped ear canals which makes wearing it almost painful. Why put something painful in my ear to hardly get any benefit when I can just choose to stay home with a dog that doesn't talk?
• When binge watching cochlear implant activation videos on YouTube is viewed as an evening well spent. 

I'm not a candidate for a cochlear implant, but I did find out I'm a candidate for something very intriguing. On my last visit with my lovely audiologist, she sweetly informed me that my suspicions were correct, I had indeed lost more hearing on my left side due to Menieire's Disease. She recommended I go back to Kaiser Head and Neck Surgery for a consult. I almost didn't go, what would they say, "Yes, you are really deaf in your left ear. Let's go with two devices, one for transmitting sound from the left and feeding it into the right. Two hearing aids, just what your tiny little oval shaped ear canals were dreaming of!"

The ENT doctor did mention that setup, referred to as a CROS system. But he also recommended I get tested to see if I would be a candidate for a BAHA device, or a Bone Anchored Hearing Aid. He explained that hearing can be transmitted through the bones of the skull to the good ear. I pictured this.

"Can you tell which is my good side?"

Of course I immediately got out to the car and Googled Baha hearing device and freaked out a bit. The original Baha devices, still the ones that work the best, involve a titanium screw in the skull and this snap-on device protruding out from the skin. 

"Yes, I have a screw in my head.
No, I am not going to listen to your Frankenstein joke."

After digesting that idea and reading about some of the skin issues involved in caring for the post, or rather "the abutment" as it is so affectionately called, I saw there is an alternative. Instead of the Baha Connect with the Frankenscrew, there is another option called the Baha Attract, which uses a magnet. I was immediately attracted to the Attract.

Actual size may be smaller or larger, depending on your screen size.
The magnet is about the size of a quarter. 

I made the appointment with the Kaiser audiologist, and my hopes were high to see if I could even use the Baha. The audiologist fitted a very tight, very uncomfortable headband around my head, with the Baha processor pressed tightly (I cannot stress enough how tight it was) to the left side of my head. She turned it on. She sounded like a robot. My hair sounded like giant ropes scraping my head. She adjusted it. Less robot, more person. A few more adjustments. I could hear her. She sounded almost normal. She put me in the testing room to have me listen to 25 simple sentences that were going to become progressively softer and softer.

The man has a yellow car

The girl is walking with a puppy.

The blue lamp is broken.

Simple stuff, so simple that at any moment I expected to hear:

See Dick! See Jane! See Dick and Jane run with Spot.

I tried not to laugh, it all seemed so funny. Maybe the super tight headband was cutting off air to my brain. 

Yet the puzzling thing was this - "Why is the audiologist testing the hearing on my right? She has my last hearing test, she knows my right hearing is super good. When will she get to the left side?"

Then the test was over. "She isn't going to test my left side? Wait, that WAS the left side? I heard all those sentences from the LEFT?" Suddenly all those simple sentences that almost had me giggling with embarrassment were on the level with War and Peace. They were the most profound phrases ever, because they were coming from the left and I "heard" them with my right ear! Through my skull. It was completely wild. We went for a walk down to the lobby. Even though I was wearing a headband that made me look like Janis Joplin meets Iron Man, I didn't care. I could hear my footsteps and the return air unit and people talking on my left and the rain outside. I wanted to walk out with the headband of torture and never take it off.

Next we tried another processor, this one connected to an equally painful headset. The left dug into my head, the right dug into my temple, but I could hear. We did another test in the little room. I got 22 out of 25 sentences correct. We went for a walk down the hallway again. More lovely ambient noises that you don't appreciate until you lose the ability to hear them. And of course, the constant "Am I talking really loud?" question that needs to be asked every other sentence. 

Since the audiologist had about 20 more minutes left in our 90 minute appointment, she wanted me to also try on the CROS system. I went into the appointment totally against the idea of wearing two devices, one in each ear. But, it was pretty amazing to understand everything from the left with absolutely no distortion. If I choose this system, on the left I would have a microphone in a hearing aid-like device, the right "hearing aid" would simply transmit the sound, no amplification. It would still allow sounds to come in on the right.

So now the choice. Get surgery to have a titanium anchor installed into my skull with a magnet that holds a processor onto my scalp, but that doesn't go inside my ears, or wear two devices in my ears? Oh, major consideration, the surgery with the Baha 5 Attract system is covered by insurance, the Cros system is not. One decision wouldn't rule out the other down the line. MRIs are an issue with the Baha magnet, but we also need to look into the danger of transmitting sound across my brain via the Cros. What's worse, zapping my brain daily or not being able to get my brain zapped with an MRI?

The only thing I know for sure is that I'm not going with Option 3, which is to do nothing and live like this. I can't take the emotional drain anymore, I want my personality back. Lots of research ahead of us, a consult with a surgeon and a consult with my regular audiologist. I'll keep you in the loop and shout out whatever I decide to do. If you have any input or personal experience regarding these technologies, please email me in the link to the right. Thanks for listening. 

This is me at the next big proctoring event, I hope.
"You can talk to me on any side!"

Team Left is down, got to get it back in the game.

Hearing aid humor from Pinterest. 

Maybe if I wear this around, the Baha Attract will seem tiny in comparison?