Tuesday, December 10, 2013

The Taking Tree

The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein

...And after a long time the boy came back again.
-"I am sorry, Boy, "said the tree, "but I have nothing left to give you — My apples are gone."
-"My teeth are too weak for apple, "said the boy.
-"My branches are gone," said the tree. "You cannot swing on them — "
-"I am too old to swing on branches" said the boy.
-"My trunk is gone," said the tree. "You cannot climb — "
-"I am too tired to climb," said the boy.
-"I am sorry" sighed the tree. "I wish that I could give you something. . . but I have nothing left. I am
just an old stump. I am sorry..."
-"I don't need very much now" said the boy. "just a quiet place to sit and rest. I am very tired"
-"Well" said the tree, straightening herself up as much as she could, "well, an old stump is good for
sitting and resting. Come, Boy, sit down... and rest."
And the tree was happy.

The End

The trees in our yard are not so altruistic. The orange tree is amazing, no complaints there, but the rest are not much to speak of. The huge pecan in the back apparently needs a girl friend pecan tree, because his, um fruit, comes out all powdery and disgusting. There is a very crooked juniper that looks like it needs a chiropractor and a palm tree that just needs to go.

Tree-wise, the thorn in our flesh now has to be this:

The Taking Tree
According to the arborist (that's a tree guy who charges more because of the fancy name) it is a very dead, very tall, very big Modesto Ash. It straddles a fence, the property line and electrical wires. It has a certain shape of the trunk that's just ready to rip apart and only the most experienced (read $$$) should even touch it. In the business, this specimen is known as a "Widow Maker". I think what that means is that Mrs. Tree Guy is getting a really great present for Christmas and we'll be left with a stump in the yard.

But it has to go, because where the Tree of Death will fall is where our future orchard area is. Mrs. Pecan will go in here to make Mr. Pecan find his purpose.

Some day, the Garden of Eatin'

There are more projects planned after Mrs. Tree Guy gets her diamond earrings - we are fixing up and expanding the pool house! Now it looks like this:

Now, don't be getting all jealous, you should see the inside.

Why the lovely plastic tarp, you ask? We decided to go to Romania instead of fixing it this summer, and plus it adds so much ambiance. The mess all started right after we moved in - remember that wee bit of rain we got in December 2012?

Ernst playing Noah.

Get out the paddles!

So here we go with our plan, all worked out by Ernst and Adrian. First, build another pool house, right next to the first one. I know, this is where I thought What?, but hang on. When the new one is done, we'll move all the junk items from the 1st into the 2nd, creating an office for Ernst. Then they'll jack up the 1st one, What? put a new foundation under it, set it back down, re-plumb the toilet and sink and fix the outside shower which will be in a breezeway between the two now unified buildings. The old part will be a true pool house with a place to change before swimming, without having to fight the avalanche known as the Ernst Library.

Once we start the project, it'll be sure to start raining, so we look at this as doing our part to end our dry winter. Soon spring will be here, and there will be pool parties with no more embarrassing tarps in all the pictures. But if the tree comes down in the completely wrong direction, you'll be changing into your swimsuit in the orchard.

Wishing for swimming weather.