Friday, January 8, 2016

Calling Molly

The dream of most dog owners, I imagine, is to have a perfectly behaved dog, the kind that can go to a dog park and show off its superior canine skills for all to see. While the other dog owners apologize as their pup wee wees yet again on someone's leather loafers or terrorizes the terriers and bullies the bulldogs, the confident dog owner just smirks that smirk of a good dog owner. I hate that smirk. I want that smirk. I practice that smirk in private.

After being Molly's owners for over five years now, our expectations have dropped considerably. At this point all hopes of the smirk have faded and I would settle for two commands:

Don't kill the skunk

That doesn't seem too much to ask. Yes, the daily bedside paper delivery is quite awesome, and she smiles almost on demand now. But Come and Don't kill the skunk would impact our lives in such a positive and pleasant smelling way. 

While Ernst commands more respect from Molly in the Come department, she seems to be an equal opportunity ignorer when it comes to Don't kill the skunk. Molly definitely views Ernst as the Alpha Dog, and she and I as underlings on the same footing. I know my issues of letting her get away with too much come from that first photo we saw of her from Golden Retriever Rescue. That poor little dog in Bakersfield, tied to a trailer hitch with a rope, with scratches on her muzzle, kennel cough and pregnant at one year old with 9 puppies from a pit bull. Poooooor Little Doggie!

While Ernst has been able to put aside that image of Poooooor Little Molly from his mind, I haven't. And it shows up in the list of nicknames we each have for her.

What Ernst calls her

Shawubadawah (This came from who knows where, he uses it, I don’t)
Little Girl
The Girl
Noodle (When he’s mad at her)

What I call her

Molly Wolly
Molly Malone
Mols the Wols
The Mols
The Girl
Poooooor Little Girl
Pumpkin Girl
Poooooor Little Pumpkin
The Pump (This one stuck and I don’t know why, Ernst has even started using it.)
The Schnook
Silly One
Little One
Poooooor Little One
Just a wisp of a thing
A mere wisp
MoLLEEEEY (When I’m mad at her)

Queen of the Ottoman Empire

Crocodile Mols
Sleeping Beauty

Skunk Magnet

Snug Bug

Chipmunk Molly

Triangle Molly

Bally Molly



Rooster Killer

Dog Park Dropout

Kid Lover

Flying Ears

Ball Watcher

KonMari Molly

Hat Hater

Poooooor Little One!