Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Mornings are rough, have a smoothie

Why do morning people get all the praise? Yes, they're the early birds getting all the worms. They're the early to bed, early to rise, healthy and wealthy and wise ones. They're up working in their yards while it's still cool, off to work before the office gets noisy, at the store shopping when the aisles are clear. They're taking life by the horns while the rest of us are still sawing logs. Oh, to be like them. I lie awake at night daydreaming of being a morning person.

It's not like I sleep in, even after a grave shift I can't sleep the morning away. But to shine like the sun in the morning, that's what I wish for. I've had some seriously early schedules in my life, and if I must get up early, that's what I do, with only a few slams of the snooze button. I can't stand being late to anything, so I stumble around doing what needs to be done to make it out the door and get to where I have to be, at whatever hideous hour required. On those mornings, I am excessively proud of myself and practically choke from all the self back-patting, and then I see it. All the real morning people on the road, the ones who do this every single day of the week, year in and year out. The back-patting comes to a halt, and I merge into traffic realizing I am just a fake, a PM person pretending to have it all together in the AM.

Conversation in the morning between AM Annie and PM Patty

Annie: Goooood Morning!!!! :O) :O)
Patty:  (Ugh, what time is it? What day is it?) Hmmgh, cough. good morning, cough.
Annie: Oh, did I wake you?
Patty: No, yes, no, I was awake, no, I was, really, cough, cough... (Who am I? Who is this?)
Annie: Your voice sounds a little groggy, are you sure I'm not calling too early?
Patty: No, no, no. I was just swallowing a freshly baked, hmmgh, scone I whipped up this morning, cough, been up for hours. (Flush.) No, me, still sleeping? Been up for days, third pot of coffee, milked the goats, two loads of laundry, ran by your house on my 5 miler, your place looked a little dark...

Becoming a morning person takes some forethought in the afternoon and evenings. A well-stocked freezer full of pre-measured smoothies is this imposter's summer secret. In each of these Ziplocks I put some berries, bananas, pineapple and spinach or kale. In the morning I plop it in the blender with some Rice Dream or other white milk-like substance from a box. We non-morning people need to check carefully or we might just add some vegetable broth from a carton. Now that would be a wake-up call.

Green smoothies get rid of the morning blues.

Snooze button fighters ready to do battle.

Dreaming of being a Vitamix.

It's too early, someone shut the blinds!