Sunday, October 9, 2011

My Hate Hate Relationship With Glasses

In our family of seven, my Dad was the only one who wore glasses. Our family had crooked teeth, good eyes and no sense of rhythm. After many visits to the orthodontist, we ended up with straight teeth and good eyes. The rhythm thing can't be fixed.
I not only had good eyesight, I had great eyesight. It was between 20/10 and 20/15, which means what most people saw clearly at 15 feet, I could see at 20. Old Eagle Eye, that was me, always the first to see the highway sign, but I could still thread a needle with the best of them. I was so ignorant about what was ahead.

In my thirties, I would see my friends in their forties squinting and holding things away from themselves to read. How can that help, wouldn't you want to bring it closer? Little did I know how soon my time would come. I was in my late 30's when it began. Sheesh this print is fine, let me just put it a little further......AAAAHHHH, it's happening. No, it must be the light, yeah, and the print is just really small. Seems to be happening with everything... AAAAHHHH there go my eyes!

So I pushed vanity aside and made the dreaded appointment. With the doctor. The Appointment. To get my arms surgically lengthened so I could read. But stupid Kaiser made me see the eye doctor, apparently arm stretching is considered cosmetic. The eye doc informed me I was far sighted (who knew?) and far sighted people lose their reading eyes early and fast, and in my case the distance is shot too. He gave me the strength of OTC reading glasses to buy. He recommended Zeiss from Costco, still my favorite brand. 


This was my first pair from Costco. Very comfy.

These are my Sally Jesse Rafael pair. If you know who she is, you probably will need glasses soon, if you don't already.

These are my drugstore Mr. Potato Head pair. What was I thinking?

Mrs. Potato Head

These are my contacts. I love them. They are mono vision. I read out of the right (your left) and I see far out of the left. Sometimes I put them in the wrong eyes and I can't see anything.

These are my Quick Build safety glasses

These are my Quick Build safety sunglasses

These are my Quick Build safety sunglasses with bifocals!

These I wear with my contacts to read the weird little Romanian thing-a-ma-jigs over the letters.

Another thing-a-ma-jig pair.

My first real pair of glasses. Ernst called them my sexy secretary glasses, but what sexy secretary decides to get Transitions, which never get dark enough to look like sunglasses and never get clear enough to look sexy? I didn't like them and only wore them when contacts were not an option.

These are my sunglasses.

They are broken.

These are my 3D glasses I wore to see Dolphin Tale. It made me cry at the end.

 These are my latest pair. Ernst calls them my Sarah Palin glasses. For the longest time I couldn't get used to them, they gave me headaches, they sort of made my stomach feel queezy. It turns out something was really wrong with them, they remade them, but I don't know if I can ever trust them.

This is me without glasses.

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